The elephant in the room

Some things are just so plain obvious that everyone in the room knows about it. Everyone except the emotionally insecure elephant itself.

Yet, no one dares to talk about it because elephants, by their nature, are dangerous. One wrong move and you could trigger the elephant to come charging, and you don’t want a massive 6 ton elephant to come your way, charging at you, full of hurt feelings and whatnot. And so, not a word out of anyone’s mouth.

As for the elephant? It feels safe, relatively speaking. As the sun sets tonight, watch as another day goes by with the elephant trying hard at hiding itself, covering itself with mud even, believing its doing a good job, and being completely oblivious to the fact that everyone kinda knew about it already.

Could you blame anyone for not speaking up?

Backstabbers and mud

There are people who do shady and unethical things.

There are people who care only for themselves and how highly others see them.

There are people who feel comfortable backstabbing and do it with no feelings of remorse whatsoever.

Then, there’s mud.

Yes, glorious mud. A mixture of water and soil, you can use it to make bricks, build houses, as an adhesive, as a protective coating, make pottery, or even take a mud bath. Heck, haven’t you seen people spread mud all over their face and cover their eyes with two big slices of cucumber? Exactly! And you know what that means?

You can throw mud at people! Aim it at their faces, those ugly backstabbers and shady con artists, take some mud and sling it at their faces. Just don’t forget to add two slices of cucumber for the finishing touches, that way it will look less childish and more workplace appropriate, whatever that means.

When working with someone who loves to play politics and rock paper backstab, it’s not exactly uncommon to get really irritated and lose one’s temper. So bring some mud to work tomorrow, it is a good stress reliever, a wonderfully joyous thing to play with, and comes with some surprising benefits, especially when dealing with their child-like rock paper backstabs, try some rock paper mud-in-their-face next time.

A mud shot certainly beats a backstab in my book, just don’t forget to slam two slices of cucumber in their eyes to give them that beauty spa treatment look instead of the kid-in-the-playground-falling-face-first-in-mud look.

And yes, I feel better now. Thanks for asking.

The .org or the .com of WordPress?

I did it, I’ve finally pulled the trigger. As the proud owner of my own top-level domain name and a shared web hosting space, I can finally try the .org version of WordPress and let me tell you, there’s A LOT of stuff you can tinker with.

After setting up my domain name and installing WordPress, I’m greeted with a barrage of options and settings. Worse still, the theme I installed came with a bunch of ready-made files that contributed to nothing but clutter. On the flip side, it did provide a working demo of what my site would look like, though I already have a layout in mind.

Perhaps the most surprising option was the ability to link the .org with some of the .com features through Jetpack. Then again, it might not really be that surprising since most of the .com features came from Jetpack, I presume.

Lots of the customization restrictions were lifted but strangely, I find myself disappointed as I quite like the current theme I’m using on this blog and can’t quite find one similar enough in the .org version. Perhaps this is a good opportunity to branch out and try my hands at a new theme, something less minimalistic perhaps.

The domain name, you ask? It’s my name, though write it the wrong way and you might end up in a certain Chinese restaurant. Wish I had that name instead, but I suppose you get what you get. The site is still very much work in progress and I hope to get more done this weekend. For now, just pretend it doesn’t exist yet.

I did consider upgrading my .com to a paid account with extra features and get my own domain name that way, but decided to try self-hosting instead. Seems more fun that way, plus I get to learn a lot more about WordPress and web hosting too.

And the cycle repeats itself yet again

It’s December, again. To think the previous December happened 12 months ago, how fast time flies. Just like when we bid 2018 goodbye, we will soon be bidding 2019 goodbye. All the things that happened towards the year end, it’s going to happen all over again.

The last minute workload.

The people taking leaves.

The people stuck at work while everyone else enjoys their year end leaves.

The Christmas celebration.

The countdown on New Year’s Eve.

The fireworks.

The New Year itself.

The plethora of New Year Resolutions.

The plethora of broken New Year Resolutions.

Followed by a series of twelve uneventful months, and like the changing of the seasons, we’ll be back again to where we started, so don’t you ever worry anymore.

Obviously, I’ve gone through that enough times to be at least aware of what’s going on. The patterns we live by, the music that keeps playing on loop, the things we do again and again, never questioning, never quite conscious that it’s always been like this.

How many people are truly aware of what’s going on? Of the tricks and illusions time plays in their minds?

 

Exams and car accidents

I finished my exam today, it was good. Not good in the sense that I’ll pass, but good in the sense that I have much to learn. I only need 50% to pass, so here’s hoping I made it. If not, at least I made a friend today, the guy with the hacks candy. He told me his name but I’m not good with names.

The traffic crawled to a stop as I entered the huge line of cars. It’s obvious what had happened, and coincidentally, the audiobook I was listening to was just mentioning about a certain car accident and how it killed a partner and a friend. It was a book about American Gods and I’ve just started listening to it today.

There’s gonna be a celebration, he says. Well, it happened last time he passed the exam, a lower level several years ago. They invited all the candidates who passed and had a mini sushi party. That’s nice, I replied, pondering if I’ve managed a passing grades and whether or not I should ask for his contact number. I didn’t.

I listened in silence as the traffic crawled ever so slightly, rainfall splattered over my windshield as the rain intensified. Glancing at my dashboard, only five minutes have passed and traffic is still at a crawl. At least I can enjoy my book while I wait.

The moment I got home, I threw myself in bed, exhausted. When was the last time I took a proper exam? A full two to three hour paper, filling in bubble sheets, raking my brain hard trying to squeeze out any signs or clues as to what the answer might be. I used to be good at this.

The sedan stood vertically on its side, the car in front of it seems to have crashed into the barrier, and the police was already there controlling the situation. A few other cars lined up nearby, I’m guessing it’s the families, or perhaps random strangers who happened to be involved. The rain seems to have weakened and I wonder, what exactly happened that made the sedan stood vertically?

I do wonder sometimes, why did I chose to take the exam? I don’t really need the certification and I’m not planning to do anything with it. Personal pride? An objective way to test myself and see how capable I really am? Or perhaps an external validation to show that my years of partial effort weren’t all in vain? Or did I took it just for the sake of taking it?

I do wonder sometimes, what goes on people’s mind just moments before the crash, the spike in adrenaline, and the horrendous impact. Did they see it coming? Did the whole event unfold in front of their very eyes in slow motion? Or was it all just a blur? And what were they feeling in that very brief moment? The adrenaline? Fear? Regret? Remorse? Or perhaps excitement?

Perhaps it was for the excitement, a test I wasn’t confident in passing, a test that really stretched me to my limits. I do hope I pass, and if not, there’s always next year. Maybe that’s what the driver felt as well, racing in the rain at night under the cover of darkness, stretching their driving skills and testing them to the limit. But unlike my exam, fail and there might not be a next time.

The temptation of the sale

Around this time as we are nearing the end of the year, all these crazy discounts and sales start popping up, be it Black Friday, Cyber Monday, or Boxing Day. And as always, it brings to my attention several things.

Namely, the things that I find very tempting or useful to have, things that I’ve decided not to buy or save for later consideration, and things that ultimately left my mind, forgotten and unconsidered, that is, until the next Black Friday, Cyber Monday, or Boxing Day, in which the cycle repeats.

I find myself reading reviews like a madman yet again, much like last year, as I try to narrow down and decide which brand or model to get. And much like last year, I would conclude that I’m clearly not in the right state of mind to be making such decisions and it would be in my best interest to properly research about it in a saner state of mind.

And so, I would smartly put it off for later consideration and get back to what I was doing and ignore the deeply discounted item that will go out of sale in a day or two, telling myself that I would very much need to conduct proper research before the next Black Friday or Cyber Monday, but probably not Boxing Day, nothing I want ever goes on sale that day, or so I tell myself.

That is my relationship with paid hosting and domain names, along with several other products or services I’ve been using for free. But the paid hosting part will likely end tomorrow as I’m very close to pulling the trigger on it, and I would likely have to relearn how to setup and use WordPress all over again.

Self-sabotage

I’ve tried to stop, but I never could. The lull is just too strong, the temptation dazzling in my eyes, my mind hungers for more. Just one more bite, one more chapter, it can’t possibly hurt. And yet, it hurts every single time.

Perhaps it’d be better if I never start? But then, I would miss out on so much of life’s little joys and pleasures, the stories and imaginations, of far-fetched worlds and historically relevant tales.

What am I to do? I should really be studying, and this always happen when I’m supposed to be studying. A five minute break? Sure, but before I knew it, an hour flew by and I’m still not done with my “break”.